Mind Riot: I was only joking when I said...

Okay so I'm randomly surfing over at LJ and I find this:

LADIES.
-Find a guy who who calls you back when you hang up on him.

YOU hung up on him you crazy hissyfit throwing bitch. Fuck you.

-Find a guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Okay dude that's creepy. Can we say "I'm going to eat your liver"?

-Find a guy who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

Uh no. I'd actually like to be attired semi-nicely when being shown off.

-Find a guy who holds your hand in front of his friends.

Like, how is that a fucking achievement? If he's too manly to hold hands, dump him, he's sure as hell not going to do anything else.

-Find a guy who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.

He's so lying, you deluded skank.

-Find a guy wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.

that's either a sign of a) passive aggressive reinforcement or b) insecurity. Dump him. NOW.

-Find a guy wait for the one who turns to his friends and
says, "that's her".

That's because you're one of three girls he's dating at the same time.

Sometimes I wonder if I can get anymore cynical. Or ever get a boyfriend again.